Barriers To Men’s Mental Health
I’ve come to love working with men more as I take on additional male clients in online counselling sessions.
What I’ve realised from working with men is that they tend to:
Go into problem-solving mode in therapy
Not elaborate enough on their communication, and
Struggle with addressing the emotional impact of an argument or articulating their thoughts and feelings.
Proactiveness in seeking solutions is an excellent trait to have. But often, it overlooks the emotional aspect of the conversation. This can leave the other person feeling invalidated or dismissed, even if it wasn’t your intention.
Sometimes, unsolicited advice can come across as hurtful.
Because let’s be honest—no one likes to feel like they’re not good enough.
Sometimes, we need time to figure out the answer.
Sometimes, we need the freedom and space to explore, fail, and learn. If that’s taken away, it can feel like our autonomy is lost.
Therefore, the importance of slowing down, zooming out from the immediate solution and really listening to the other person during a conversation is the greatest gift we can give to our loved ones.
Sometimes, we simply need someone to really hear and see us.
The Importance of Elaborating in Conversations
Another observation I’ve made during online therapy sessions is that many male clients underestimate the importance of elaborating on their thoughts and feelings when making a point.
For example, sometimes when my brother communicates with my mum, he would give brief and concise sentences.
Which leaves my mum wondering if she may be annoying him with the way she communicates.
In what she interpreted as potential “rejection”, she withdrew and said, “I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy, talk to you when you are free.”
Only to find out that my brother was actually making pizza while texting my mum.
He then said, “Oh no, I’m free. I was just rolling the dough.”
She then said “Oh, I didn’t know. Tell me that next time, I just assumed you were busy because you sounded annoyed.”
And that is why, sometimes, elaborating on a point in a conversation goes a long way.
“Proactiveness in seeking solutions is an excellent trait to have. But often, it overlooks the emotional aspect of the conversation.”
Repairing Relationships After Conflict
Finally, I’ve noticed that many men, in particular, struggle with repairing relationships after disagreements.
When conflicts arise, some may retreat into silence, while others might sweep the issue under the rug and pretend nothing happened.
But avoiding repair actually hurts the relationship more because it feels invalidating.
It almost feels like arguing means that love is gone.
But when you argue with your loved ones, the love is still there.
Simply, it is you and them against the problem.
Never you against them.
Read that again.
Final thoughts
Taking steps to repair the relationship—whether through an apology, open communication, or acknowledging the other person’s feelings—helps maintain the connection and trust. While emotional avoidance or difficulty with repair may be common in many people, it’s especially something I’ve noticed in men. However, regardless of gender identity, it’s important to address the conflict and rebuild the connection.
If any of this resonates and you're ready to start a conversation, I’m here to support you with tangible steps to improve your relationships. I offer online sessions Australia-wide as well as after-hours appointment, giving you the flexibility to fit therapy into your life.
To learn more about working with Eunice, visit her bio here.