Perfectionism and Navigating Parenthood

As a seasoned early childhood educator and a counsellor, my journey into parenthood was guided by a wealth of experience and a treasure trove of knowledge.

Armed with specific ideas on how to be the perfect parent, I soon found myself inadvertently merging my roles as a parent and an early childhood teacher.

The weight of constantly adhering to the textbook-perfect parenting approach, coupled with the fear of unintentionally impacting or traumatising my child, cast a shadow over my parenting journey. This not only took a toll on my peace of mind but also strained the delicate fabric of my relationship with my partner.

For any parent, the struggle is palpable—a constant juggling act between high standards and the natural instincts of parenthood. The desire to embody the idealised image of a well regulated and conscious parent can lead to relentless self-imposed pressure, setting the stage for unattainable expectations.

Here are three pivotal steps that helped me loosen from the shackles of perfectionism and embrace the concept of being a 'good enough' parent:

1. Regular Therapy Sessions:

One of the pillars of my journey has been the consistent dialogue with my therapist. These sessions became a safe haven, allowing me to honour both the nurturing parent within me and the part that seeks healing from past wounds. Through this ongoing therapeutic process, I discovered a harmonious balance that fostered a conducive environment for my daughter's growth.

2. Returning to Work:

A significant turning point occurred when I re-entered the workforce after my daughter turned one. This transition propelled me out of my parenting bubble, providing a panoramic view of life beyond parenthood. As my priorities shifted and diversified, I gained valuable perspective, realizing that parenting is just one facet of my identity.

3. Embracing 'Good Enough' Parenting:

Granting myself permission to be a 'good enough' parent marked a liberating shift in my mindset. Understanding that meeting the basic needs of my child—ensuring she feels safe and loved—is the foundation of good enough parenting allowed me to release the burdens of unrelenting standards.

The journey from perfection to 'good enough' parenting is a personal evolution—one that involves self-compassion, perspective, and embracing the imperfections that make parenthood a beautiful and authentic experience.

Through these insights, I've discovered that true growth lies not in perfection but in the genuine, imperfect moments that shape our bonds with our children. Your children need to see you as imperfect, otherwise what are we setting up for as they grow into adults? The world around them is less than perfect and within the space for an imperfect parent, we can set our children up for the real world.

Need support with navigating high expectations in parenthood? Reach out to me to discuss what’s happening in your world and how I can support you.